What Inspires Me

I was asked recently on my Instagram what inspires me to bend and go upsidedown, and so I thought I would write a little blog post about it.

Over the years then what inspires me has changed a lot.

When I first started 'more' stretching it was very inconsistently, back when I was a teenager about age 14.  I did it for two reasons.  Firstly I wanted to score well on my range and conditioning set in (club/low level) gymnastics, it is a compulsory routine based on strength and flexibility, and so i stretched at home, i sat in oversplits and i did a few bridges.  Secondly i was going through some really really hard years and my family life was pretty awful, i hated myself, when i used to stretch it used to hurt, and i liked the pain because i felt i deserved it.  I hate writing that nowadays, it appalls me, but it would be a lie for me not to write it.  What was good though is that the stretching as well as being painful it released pain, it was my release and my own individual therapy at a time when i felt trapped.

Throughout my early and mid 20s i no longer lived at home and although i still had bad times i found outlets through other ways.  My stretching and handstand inspiration mainly came from other people, i would want to be like them, as bendy as them, as good as handstands as them.  I taught myself and would consistently practice before bedtime.  I had dreams of all these amazing one arm handstand shapes, i had dreams of sitting on my head, i had dreams of a massive oversplit.  I taught myself and stretched with a technique that today makes me cringe.

Today I am 32 years, my bendy knowledge and theory is rocket high, i am bendier than i have ever been, my handstands are the best they have ever been.  But unless i am on a stage then I have no care for physically what you see, how far i bend.  Often in practice my depth varies, i listen to my body and go with what i bring to the mat that day.  

My inspiration comes from inside of me.  What inspires me is how good it feels for my body to move and bend and go upsidedown, my body's individual capabilities and possibilities, the enjoyment it gives me.  I do it because i love doing it.  Other people inspire me also through showing me what an individual body is capable of achieving with work and dedication, every body is different, unique.  I aspire to be like no-one else but myself.  I do not care if i never sit on my head, i care not for the depth of any of my stretches, i care not for how many handstand one arm shapes i can hit.  I do care for how doing what my own individual body can do makes me feel.  I care for how moving my body through it's available range of motion gives me all the health benefits that it gives me physical and mental.  I care for the fact that stretching out the tightness of my hips external rotators combined with other work has meant my hypermobile menisci have not dislocted/subluxed for nearly 2 years now, ever since i started a regular yoga practice.  On stage performing i feel a bit more pressure to be as bendy as i can, but with the realisation that i am in competition with no-one, even when on stage there is much more to a performance than how far you bend.  I participate in yoga asana championships, but compete is the wrong word for it as i am not competitive and have no care for where i place, but that is a whole other post... :)

This is all written in brief, i could talk about and write about for hours what inspires me, people who have inspired me over the years, how my inspiration has changed over the years, how i love doing what i do :)

Namaste