I love my career, I really do. I have this passion for handstanding and performing that will always be with me. Some people in my past have tried their best to push me down, but my passion for performing is just too strong. I always rise.
I have had one of those careers that has not always been smooth. It has had many ups and downs, times when i was flying and times when i felt like i was sinking. One of the hardest moments in my performing career was when a person really really tried to destroy me, i can't and won't go into full details or name names, but this person following a day that they made into one of the worst in my life, then this person then decided to further the pain by bullying me relentlessly. This included a lot of verbal bullying, nasty threats, calling me useless, pathetic, reducing me to the exhaustive crazy state of tears where you can not breathe 5 minutes before i would have to go on and do a performance i really didn't want to be doing but was too scared to walk away. I forgave them, i forgive too easy, or i ignore too easily, pretend everything is fine, but then they did something else to attempt to further my misery and kick me down a few months later that is a totally separate event and story and i do not wish to discuss here but can say it had a good ending. But you know what, although i still hurt, i still cry, i still fear, and will never forgive them for some of the things they did to me, then ultimately this person strengthened me, they made me a stronger person, they proved to me how much i love performing and how nothing will stop me doing what i love doing, they showed me i can deal with a lot more than i thought i could, they showed me who i was and that i was stronger than i thought i was.
Life can sometimes throw bricks at us, sometimes little ones and sometimes they feel like big boulders, sometimes we get so scarred invisibly inside. But these events shape us, make us who we are today. You can not change things that have happened, only accept what has happened, learn from it, and see how you can grow from it rather than wither.
I don't know why i am writing this, i guess it is because i want to tell the world however bad things are then if you have a passion that burns so fierce then that fire inside of you will never disappear, i love performing, it is my fire, it has at times been reduced to a small ember but it always re-ignites into a big flame that burns so bright and happy.
I have had one of those careers that has not always been smooth. It has had many ups and downs, times when i was flying and times when i felt like i was sinking. One of the hardest moments in my performing career was when a person really really tried to destroy me, i can't and won't go into full details or name names, but this person following a day that they made into one of the worst in my life, then this person then decided to further the pain by bullying me relentlessly. This included a lot of verbal bullying, nasty threats, calling me useless, pathetic, reducing me to the exhaustive crazy state of tears where you can not breathe 5 minutes before i would have to go on and do a performance i really didn't want to be doing but was too scared to walk away. I forgave them, i forgive too easy, or i ignore too easily, pretend everything is fine, but then they did something else to attempt to further my misery and kick me down a few months later that is a totally separate event and story and i do not wish to discuss here but can say it had a good ending. But you know what, although i still hurt, i still cry, i still fear, and will never forgive them for some of the things they did to me, then ultimately this person strengthened me, they made me a stronger person, they proved to me how much i love performing and how nothing will stop me doing what i love doing, they showed me i can deal with a lot more than i thought i could, they showed me who i was and that i was stronger than i thought i was.
Life can sometimes throw bricks at us, sometimes little ones and sometimes they feel like big boulders, sometimes we get so scarred invisibly inside. But these events shape us, make us who we are today. You can not change things that have happened, only accept what has happened, learn from it, and see how you can grow from it rather than wither.
I don't know why i am writing this, i guess it is because i want to tell the world however bad things are then if you have a passion that burns so fierce then that fire inside of you will never disappear, i love performing, it is my fire, it has at times been reduced to a small ember but it always re-ignites into a big flame that burns so bright and happy.
